Get Ordained!

No joke, my friends! This is your chance to become a legally ordained minister of the Universal Life Church!
This is for real and, best of all, it's totally free! Follow the link to the ULC homepage and get ordained today!

The Universal Life Church is willing to ordain anybody via their webiste without question! Just go to the main page,
click the "Become Ordained Here" link, and fill out their form! It's quick, easy, painless and, like I said, FREE!
They don't ask for your Social Security number or your firstborn male child or anything! You just fill in your name,
e-mail address, street address and POW! You're a Reverend! It's really just that easy!

Immediately upon signing their online form, the Universal Life Church sends you a certificate to print out and hang
on your wall! This certificate declares that you are a legally ordained minister of the Universal Life Church!
You are under no further obligation to aid the Church in any way! The Universal Life Church is recognized in all 50
states and its ministers are legally able to conduct wedding ceremonies, funeral ceremonies, give pastoral advice
and even absolve sin! Ministers are also often the recipients of travel discounts and good parking places at hospitals.
So why the Hell not join today?

This could be you!

About a week after you sign the Universal Life Church's online form, you will recieve a lengthy e-mail telling you all
about the structure of the Church and your fabulous new powers as an ordained minister. It also contains detailed
information on the many additional credentials and courses you can obtain from the Church. These addtional things
cost anywhere from $5 to $100, but are completely optional. The credentials do not ordain you. They are merely
a status symbol for ego-enhancement and impressing your friends. Your status as a minister is dictated by your name's
appearance on a log in a recognized Church, such as the ULC.

They don't ask that you preach a particular tenet or faith. The ULC is a firm believer in the freedom of religion. When
you become ordained by the Universal Life Church, you are empowered to preach whatever is in your heart, so long as
you do not infringe upon the rights of others. All faiths are welcomed by the ULC and diversity of beliefs is encouraged!

It's fun, it's quick, it's easy! Please follow the link to the Universal Life Church and get ordained right now!
And please, if you do decide to take advantage of this amazing offer, please let me know. You see, if I ordain just
fifteen people for the Universal Life Church, then I am officially canonized as a Saint! So, follow the link and become
a Reverend! Then come back here to Unmutual Enterprises and drop me a line at ReverendgB@gusandthegovernment.com. Be sure
to give me your name and e-mail address so I can verify to the ULC that I was the one who sent you down their path
and add you to on the list below.

Sincerely,
Reverend Grahm B Eberhardt

**People I've Ordained for the Universal Life Church**
1) Reverend Robert A Manasco	2) Reverend Christopher Lackey
3) Reverend Jennifer Gruenert	4) Reverend Matthew Rateau
5) Reverend Amanda Saia	6) Reverend Neon Trousers
7) Reverend Robert E. Lovins	8) Reverend Dorian Wyatt Inman
9) Reverend Trixie Higgins	10) Reverend Cecilia Elizabeth Lockert
11) Reverend Marlena Kohler Applegate	12) Reverend Daniel Cazel
13) Reverend Dana Lake	14) Reverend Susan Halfhill
15) Reverend Bill Sykes	16) Reverend
17) Reverend Carrie K	18) Reverend Kristen Herning

Here, the lovely Reverend Mandy Saia shows off her brand new Minister Credentials so everyone can see just how easy it is to Get Ordained!

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