ENGLISH MAJOR and I don't mean a guy in the British Army

English Major is what happens when the guy who says all the words in the Mayhem Lettuce songs decides he should be in charge of the music too. I suppose ultimately it's Electronic music since I use a lot of computer generated beats and such but I like to think that English Major isn't about a musical style or genre so much as an attitude. The songs don't gel together musically for the most part, but there's a certain feeling of fun and a celebration of randomness pervading the work. It's also kind of sexy sometimes. English Major on SoundClick

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The first English Major album is called The Face On The Coin and it rocks.
One Twenty Three Sexy Monkey Comic Books For Christmas Homeless, Adorable The Death Pheremone Of Bees Slim and Handsome Racecar Driver My Refrigerator Retarded (with Britney Spears) Punk + Geek = Love Battery Operated Tumbling Monkey Burn Down The Car Wash Better Off Late U Should C This I Can Feel The Earth Spinning Beneath Me Snarf On Acid The Blood of the Baby Barking At The Ape Hold Me Till I Learn Touch A Spider
Some of the tracks from this album form a vague narrative about the death throes of a doomed romance. Intermixed among these songs are bits of random joy and weirdness.

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The second English Major album is called Ersatz Exegesis and it's more or less adequate.
Irrelevent Mimes Kissing Caterpillars (instrumental version) Greedo's Groove Black Lodge Coffee | mp3 | Hitler Pez No Pushing! Jungle Booger (broken) Mad Funk Mouse Biscuit Item Don't Jive Me Driven Pain Machine Makes Me Shudder Spaced Out Angie Fever (Twilight Mix) | mp3 | Alien Highway Rotten Cabbages The Moaning Jungle Booger (fixed) I Am Become Death The Kingdom of Nevadoo
This is actually my long lost album of computer music recorded between 1994 and 1998 so it predates the first English Major album, the name English Major and most of Mayhem Lettuce's recorded output. This entire album was crafted using Screamtracker.

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The third English Major album is called We Each Have A Skeleton and it's fun.
Slow Down and Eat | mp3 | Lateral Inhibition | mp3 | Card Carrying Jedi Knight It's Quite Cool (w/ Ian McKellan) Safe From Robots Monkey at the Helm I Miss Whitney Chris Lackey's Last Words Nasty Jesus Little Stevie Rides A Camel Stevie's Bike Messed Up (A Rocket Solves Everything) Genre Hopper Piece of You My Own Private Entropy Hideous, Bad Music | mp3 | Trollshaw The Chocolate Milk Song Scratchy Scratchy Uh-Oh	cover image forthcoming   hint: it involves skeletons
This album is mostly instrumentals and was created using Sonic Foundry's Acid. If there's an underlying concept to this collection of songs, I've yet to discover it.

The song Hideous, Bad Music | mp3 | is built around a sample of composer Sir Arthur Sullivan telling Thomas Edison what he thinks of his newest invention - the phonograph. This was recorded on Oct. 5, 1888. "For myself, I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the results of this evening's experiment -- astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record forever."

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The fourth English Major album is called Sissy Desperado and it's pretty cheesy.
Spaced Out Angie Fever Quest(ions) Sunshine and Ravioli After Hours (Velvet Underground) The Philogy part 1: Li'l Phil White Rabbit (Jefferson Airplane) Gemini (Mayhem Lettuce) Galactic Lipstick #3 (Mayhem Lettuce) Kissing Caterpillars The Philogy part 2: Say "Hi" to Phil For Me Lie Still, Little Bottle (TMBG) I'll Sink Manhattan (TMBG) Moving To The Sun (TMBG) Piece of Dirt (TMBG) The Philogy part 3: Phil Enters the Forbidden Forest and Encounters the Blair Witch who Probably Kills Him or at the Very Least Makes Him Stand in the Corner Spaced Out Angie Fever (Wrong Number Version) Stay (Belly) secret bonus track (???)	cover image forthcoming   hint: it involves a sombrero
This album is half cheesy cover songs, half old songs that never got finished until now. Everything except the Philogy was done on the Screamtracker.

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The fifth English Major album is called Watch Me Trick Fred and it's funny.
She Doesn't Exist (Robyn Hitchcock) Remix The Cat (Mayhem Lettuce) Polly (Nirvana) Absolutely Bill's Mood (They Might Be Giants) I Used To Be Somebody (Nine Inch Nails) Fat Bob On Acid (Mayhem Lettuce) 23:59 End of the World (Carter USM) We're Not Gonna Take It (Twisted Sister) There's A Monster In My Garden (Abdoujaparov) Désert Noir (Mayhem Lettuce) Nosferöcktu / Governor Tarkin's Dead (Bauhaus) | mp3 | Lithium (Nirvana) Girls Can Keep A Secret (Carter USM) Please Let That Be You (The Rentals) Who's Got The Time? (Triple Busy Remix) Here Comes The Cake Megamix (Mayhem Lettuce) Neverending Soda (Gold Star Mix) Rock 'n' Roll Suicide (David Bowie)	cover image forthcoming   hint: it involves my Quimper Halloween outfit
This album is a collection of English Major cover songs - some of which are available for download below. It also contains remixes and parodies and other stuff that isn't quite a cover but isn't quite original either.

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Forthcoming Project: Nano Banshee
In Excess (INXS parody) | mp3 | Roads (Portishead) Do You Love Me Now? (Breeders) Mother (Pink Floyd) Your Ghost (Kristen Hersh) | mp3 | Love You (Syd Barrett) Worm Sign | mp3 | King In Yellow (Donovan parody) | mp3 | Dr. Blues	cover image forthcoming song order subject to change
This album is a collection of English Major cover songs and original tunes that I recorded over Memorial Day Weekend, 2004. It's mostly guitar driven rock and roll type stuff.

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English Major's song Comic Books For Christmas is to be used as part of the soundtrack to a special online award ceremony by A Smorgasbord Of Comic Books. It will be a free downloadable audio presentation. Proceeds will go to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund.

More details as I learn them.

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WICKED AWESOME GUS AND THE GOVERNMENT EXCLUSIVE SONGS!

Blood Raven's Lament | mp3 |
I put this together this morning (11-24-01) and I quite like it. Those of you who are familiar with the film Gothboy will understand what's going on. Those of you who haven't, locate me or Jef or Fifer or Lackey and DEMAND to see this revolutionary and influential film TODAY!

Señor Droolcup | mp3 |
In my uninformed and twisted mind, this is what it sounds like when it's Mexico.

Light Complected | mp3 |
The vocal track on Light Complected is an ACTUAL MESSAGE left on my voice mail at work. I have NO IDEA who this lady is or who she thinks I am, but if she sounds like somebody you want to talk to, she did leave her number so you can totally call her.

The Robot Song | mp3 | lyrics |
This song is complete nonsense and was made using a ridiculous drum machine I bought at the Dollar Store along with The Iron Soul which is a scary voice changing robot mask.

Absolutely Bill's Mood | mp3 |
This is my silly cover of the very excellent They Might Be Giants song of the same name.

Lithium | mp3 |
This is my latin-flavoured cover of the very excellent Nirvana song of the same name. I'm particularly fond of the trombone solo in the middle. This happens to be my favourite Nirvana song.

Polly | mp3 |
This is my fairly adequate cover of the very excellent Nirvana song of the same name. The spooky organ helps to conceal the fact that I can't really play the guitar.

We're Not (Even) Gonna Take It | mp3 |
This is my completely inept cover of the very excellent Twisted Sister song of the same name (minus the "even").

Rock and Roll Suicide | mp3 |
This is my woefully misguided cover of the very excellent David Bowie song of the same name. This song is all the evidence you'll ever need to take my guitar away forever. I broke a string about halfway through but still managed to play all those hard Bowie chords in pretty much the right order.

She Doesn't Exist | mp3 |
This is my horrendously frighteningly mad cover of the very excellent Robyn Hitchcock song of the same name. It sounds like aliens are singing with me. That, or midgets. Or perhaps some sort of Space Midgets, you know, from space.

A note on the cover songs: I am not making them available for sale and nor should you or anybody else. The copyright to the lyrics and music belongs to people I've never met and I recorded these songs without their permission. I make them available here for novelty purposes only and am not out to cash in or ride on any coattails, whatever those are.