Know Your Geek

I see people bandy about the terms "dork", "geek", "nerd", "dweeb" etc as if they're all interchangeable. They're not, at least not to me. What follows is a sort of glossary laying out the subtle differences between these terms. I put this together in an effort to allow you, the layman, to better understand the ways of my people: the Geeks.

Geek is used here as a catch-all term. There are various sub-species of Geek, some more closely related than others. Before we get to that, let's clear up the aforementioned terminology a bit.

A Nerd is somebody who enjoys school too much for their own good, particularly math. Nerds are generally socially inept, even among other Geeks. Often travelling in clusters, the Nerd typically avoids contact with Normals, preferring to discuss algebra, astronomy and perhaps Dungeons & Dragons with their own kind. Nerds often wear glasses and hand-me-down clothes that fit poorly on their non-athletic bodies. They are often the teacher's pet and will gladly stay after school to clean blackboards. Adult Nerds tend to have excellent computer skills and large brains capable of making great technological discoveries. This is why most Nerds grow up to be scientists, engineers and, for the rare socially adventurous Nerd, math teachers.

Dweeb is an insulting term and should not be used to describe any Geek. Like "eskimo" and "squaw" it is a derogatory word meant to imply unattractiveness and foolishness. It was introduced to the English Language in1983 by the Jocks and has caused nothing but trouble since.

Dork is also an insulting term for Geeks that's been around since 1967. It has become a more playful insult though and has become nearly synonymous with Geek. Calling someone a Dork implies that are being goofy or perhaps exaggerating their own Geekishness. Nothing specific is inherent in the term.

Now for the sub-species of Geekhood. It is possible for one Geek to fall under more than one sub-species. Some Geeks are, to all appearances, Normals who harbor one Geek Trait. An average guy who never misses Star Trek is an excellent example of this. The only true prime-requisite for being a Geek is to have a fanatical obsession with something generally not universally beloved. Geeks are by definition Outsiders.

Tech Geek Tech Geeks are fascinated by anything electrical. Stereos, computers, wall sockets, VCRs, etc are all playgrounds for the Tech Geek. Their obsession with gadgets and their knack for dismantling and reassembling objects makes them fun to be around. Some Tech Geeks are specialized in certain areas. See Computer Geek and A/V Geek for more information.
Computer Geek A Computer Geek is a specialized Tech Geek who knows everything there is to know about computers, servers, firewire, overclocking a CPU, and hundreds of other things I dont' even begin to understand. Computer Geeks can be generalized or specific to one area. e.g. An old school Computer Geek may know everything there is to know about the Commodore 64 but won't have the foggiest idea how to maximize a PC's efficiency by tampering with the BIOS.
A/V Geek Another specialized Tech Geek is the Audio/Video Geek. This is kid who pushed the film projector into the classroom and hooked up the VCR to the TV when your teacher was too dumb to do it herself. An A/V Geek knows all about the pros and cons of S-Video vs Composite RCA outputs and other fascinating stuff along those lines.
Nerd Nerds, as stated above, are essentially Math Geeks or Science Geeks or, not uncommonly, both.
Gamer Geek Closely related to Nerds, Gamer Geeks are those who enjoy the thrill of Role Playing Games (RPGs). Gamer Geeks are almost always big Monty Python fans and will quote Holy Grail at length, all the time, for no discernible reason, whenever possible. Their rooms are often cluttered with lots of dice, boad games, fantasy novels and perhaps even replicated medieval weaponry.
Sci-Fi Geek Science Fiction Geeks are generally avid readers of sci-fi, fantasy and horror novels and short stories. They can describe in great detail any number of make-believe worlds from The Forgotten Realms to Dune to Middle-Earth to Chewbacca's home planet of Kashyyyk. Some Sci-Fi Geeks specialize in Television or Films. Others specialize in a genre such as Medieval Fantasy or Zombies.
Movie Geek A Movie Geek is obsessed with cinema and will always beat you at the 6 Degrees of Kevin Bacon game. Movie Geeks can specialize in any genre or director or actor. Some Movie Geeks don't even like science fiction but can tell you all about 1940's noir detective flims or Spaghetti Westerns.
TV Geek Not to be confused with a Couch Potato, a TV Geek is a warehouse of information regarding her favourite shows. TV Geeks often will have a few select shows they never miss but apart from that will shun television. Trekkies are the most widely known subset of TV Geek but Simpsonphiles, B5 Lurkers and Buffy Fanatics are very prominent as well.
Comic Geek These Geeks get their geekly pleasures from a combination of the written word and colourful pictures - comic books. Whether avid collectors of their favourite characters or followers of a particular artist, Comic Geeks save their money for that Wednesday trip to their comic shop.
Music Geek Like most sub-Geeks, the Music Geek comes in as many varieties as there are musical genres. Being a Music Geek is more than just enjoying a particular band or type of music; it's being obsessed with that music to the extent of owning every imported single and variant album cover art. A David Bowie fan may own all the albums but a Bowie Geek will have 3 versions of each single and a half dozen bootlegged concerts and maybe even a 2nd DVD player just for Labyrinth.
Car Geek Controversial in nature due to their close ties with the Jocks, the Car Geek knows everything about cars, from their history to the complex inner workings of the engines. A Car Geek may be an amateur mechanic or just an avid automobile fan.

"People that are really very weird can get into sensitive positions and have a tremendous impact on history."
...George W. Bush


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